Live Longer Habits

Want to Be Happier, More Satisfied and Fulfilled? - Why Emotional Intelligence Matters

Relying on the idea that you will be happier “someday” may stop you from reaching your goals now. It can also leave you feeling less happy and fulfilled in the present moment. You might have heard people say things like:

 - “I’ll spend more time with my family once my business is successful.” 

- “I’ll think about changing jobs after my kids are older.” 

- “When I retire, I’ll focus on getting healthier.” 

These are examples of conditional thinking, which poet David Whyte calls “living in a dynamic of conditionality.” He asks: Are you enjoying the moments you spend working, or are you just waiting for things to change so you can be happy? 

People often think things like: “I’ll be happy when I finish this project.” Or, “I’ll pursue what I really want to do when the kids finish school, when my mortgage is paid, when I have more money, or when I retire.”

There’s a Productive Kind of Waiting

We all do this to some extent. In its positive form, conditional thinking means delaying pleasure for a greater benefit later. For example, you might save money for a future business, or eat healthily for better health down the line. These active choices are meant to lead to desired outcomes. 

Then There’s the Unproductive Kind

What Whyte describes can also be a more passive way of thinking, where you do nothing and hope that one day things will magically change. For instance, you might wait to start a new business until your kids are grown up. Or you might put off exercising until you find a job that gives you more free time. 

This waiting rarely leads to the happiness or change you are looking for, and it can take much longer than you think. What Whyte calls “harvesting” means enjoying what you’ve worked for and taking time to appreciate your achievements. He encourages us to ask ourselves whether we are making the most of the time we have. 

Every day spent working shapes who we are becoming. Think about who you are practising to be with your daily actions. Do you really want to become that person? If you're waiting for certain life changes, such as your kids growing up or a new job to start, you might miss out on becoming something better right now. You’re always in the process of becoming something, and not always in the way you might want. 

Your Emotions Are Important

Living in a conditional mindset might make your emotions work against you instead of for you, which is a key part of being emotionally intelligent. You might feel frustrated because you want to be doing something else, but waiting makes you feel stuck. This can hold you back from being content, fulfilled, and happy. 

It's Up to You

But you do not have to wait! “Someday” might bring changes, but it’s unpredictable. You can’t control when it will happen. However, you can control your own actions. You can choose to start becoming the person you want to be today. Think about the steps you can take now, and make even a small start every day. Set aside a little bit of time each day to work on a project you are passionate about. 

Over time, as you invest that time, you can become an entrepreneur and feel proud of yourself for what you achieved. Make time to exercise daily. Gradually, you will become fitter and experience the benefits that come with it. When a team member needs help, step up to guide them. Slowly, you’ll develop your skills as a leader and feel satisfied with your growth. 

Instead of waiting for a distant “someday,” focus on making your dreams reality sooner. Living based on conditions will not create the life you want. 

In the end, you will become what you do. So, start today and take action every day.

Source: inc