What is Emotional Intelligence and Why is it Important?
Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is a term first used by psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer in the 1990s. It became well-known when Daniel Goleman wrote a bestselling book called "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ."
Emotional intelligence is about being aware of our own feelings and understanding the feelings of others. It helps us make better choices and manage our actions. This idea became significant because it explained a surprising statistic: people with average IQs often perform better at work than those with very high IQs. This was surprising because many believed that IQ was the main factor for success. It turns out that IQ only accounts for about 25% of what leads to career success, while emotional intelligence plays a larger role.
At first, you might not see the link between emotional intelligence and well-being, but research shows otherwise. Studies reveal that people with higher EQ tend to experience less stress, more happiness, and better overall health. They also have healthier ways to cope with challenges. Given the mental health challenges many face today, developing EQ can be increasingly important for improving well-being and job satisfaction.
What Does Emotional Intelligence Look Like?
While we can't "see" EQ directly, we can observe how it affects people's behaviour. People with low EQ tend to get stressed easily and may struggle with anxiety, depression, and even substance abuse. They often find it hard to express their feelings clearly and may hide their negative emotions behind fake positivity. This can lead to misunderstandings with others, as they may not communicate effectively. They also tend to blame others for their feelings instead of taking responsibility, and they might react passively or aggressively when upset. These behaviours indicate low emotional intelligence.
On the other hand, people with high EQ respond thoughtfully to situations and are aware of their feelings. They can manage their emotions better and understand what others are feeling. They tend to keep conversations factual, resolve conflicts effectively, and stay focused on their goals. They are usually more optimistic and resilient when facing challenges. All these behaviours show the traits of high emotional intelligence.
Having a higher EQ can lead to better stress management, improved relationships, and greater job satisfaction. It influences most of our interactions and outcomes, but it can be hard to measure. If you want to know where you stand in terms of EQ, there are free tests available online from places like Psychology Today and Frameworks.
How Does IQ Relate to Emotional Intelligence?
IQ, or intelligence quotient, measures your ability to learn and process information. While IQ is linked to basic cognitive skills, it also involves how you interact with others, connecting it to emotional intelligence.
Neuroscientist Aron Barbey explains that humans are social creatures, and understanding others is a key part of our intelligence. A person's IQ tends to remain stable throughout life, while EQ can improve over time. Even if some people are naturally more emotionally intelligent, everyone has the potential to develop their EQ.
How to Grow Emotional Intelligence
Unlike IQ, which is largely fixed, you can change and improve your EQ. This is due to something called neuroplasticity, which refers to the brain's ability to grow and adapt based on experiences. To understand how to develop EQ, it’s helpful to know how the brain works. The brain has three layers: the brain stem (our instinct), the limbic system (our emotions), and the cortex (our logical thinking). The emotional and logical parts of the brain are highly connected, and this communication is what emotional intelligence is all about.
The saying "neurons that fire together wire together" reflects how your experiences shape your brain. Each thought, feeling, and action activates many neurons that form connections. The more you practice emotional intelligence, the stronger these connections become, making it easier to respond thoughtfully.
Making the Commitment
Improving your EQ is valuable. It can help you manage stress better, reducing risks of anxiety, depression, and burnout. It can also enhance your relationships, making it easier to prevent and solve conflicts, and allows you to reach your full potential. By cultivating emotional intelligence, you can work towards a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled life.
Source: ncbi
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